Monday, November 8, 2010


I sat through my first full episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills tonight.  I don't know why I've missed it up til now.  I'm really only committed to the New York and New Jersey housewives shows.  But anyway, I watched RHBH and have to say this is the only Real Housewives cast that makes me feel appalled and inadequate at the same time. 

Sixty thousand dollars for a 4 year old's birthday party?  Twelve thousand even?  I could hang my head in shame for even tinkering with the notion of becoming an event planner after looking at that.  Mother Daughter Diamond Barbie Head Pendants!  And Matching Favors for the Guests!  Chandeliers Outside Just Because I Looked Up and Thought "oooo!  A Chandelier!"  And nothing says Happy Birthday Sweetheart like a photo shoot with Mommy Barbie standing on the party table looking whimsical while Nanny #1 pushes Birthday Skipper on a swing somewhere out of the way.  cherish the moments.

Do they have beginner classes in Obnoxiously Jawdropping Decadent Extravagance?  Luxe 101?  I couldn't plan a party like that until I took that class.  I'd have to take it twice probably. 

The $12K party for the two year old was obviously way better.  Although I can't think of specifically why other than it was about 5 times less pretentious.  But I was worried when the planner dude said "French Fry Bar." All I could do was roll my eyes and think, oh honey, how low rent.  It's just...I'm so conflicted.  Almost makes me wish I had a retreat in Hawaii to go rejuvenate my spirit or something.  Feed my soul by giving you one of my Escalades?  Or I could at least shoot up a little botox so the pain wouldn't show.  I'd maybe settle for just the collagen if there was a wait.  

see...I'm learning already.


MsPicketToYou said...

That episode? That barbie diamond birthday?

Watching it was the only time I've ever considered calling child services. MUST SWOOP IN and get that little girl!

I want to give her a cupcake made from a box mix, plus a sand box and shovel and maybe some cool Legos... She'll be alright.


Silver said...

Hopefully the nannies have a hand in parenting that girl. Like, more Irreconcilable Differences and less Mommie Dearest. Either way I see a wild ride at boarding school/rehab in her future.