"Human beings do metamorphose.They change their identity constantly. However, each new identity thrives on the delusion that it was always in possession of the body it has just conquered." ~ From "Xenocide" by Orson Scott Card
I read that the other day and it struck me. I have been thinking of getting back into writing for a while and I considered starting a whole new blog. New name, new hosting, the whole deal. But then I read the above quote. And realized...dammit. I'd just be deluding myself that the new blog is all there ever was. Trying to deny the existence of this space that got me to where I was in le blogosphere however many years ago when I was on my blog-a-day mission. Plus it would be a pain in the ass trying to get new followers. And it's not like it would be anything that much different than what I was writing before anyway, although I did toy with the idea of niche blogging for about a minute. But good googly I know I'd get bored with that before the first post was finished.
So, even though I'm a little freaked out about picking up writing again, I'm doing it anyway. Probably because I'm freaked out actually. And because writing is one my Birthday Resolutions. Well, writing and completing the Brazil Butt Lift 60 day transformative workout plan. Which scares me too. But I won't be starting that until the kids get back in school because the idea of them walking in on me sweating my unbalanced ass off is not so much scary as it is wholly unacceptable.
But wait, go back, (I imagine you thinking) why on earth would I be freaked out? Mainly because this is like therapy for me and when I was going to therapy regularly I'd never end up talking about what I thought I wanted to talk about. The session always took it's own turns and I landed someplace that had very little to do with where I had intended to go. Which was probably better. But still a lot to process.
So yeah, I want to organize my thoughts and get some of my sense of self back. Because Candy Crush is an awesome time suck and everything but I'm starting to get the brain of a jelly bean after (don't judge me) 655 levels. I am hoping to achieve some kind of zenlike nirvana-ish enlightenment this year since I'm 42 now and according to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Answer is 42. So I'm morphing that to mean that the answer will be found somewhere during the 42. Because why not.