Thursday, April 5, 2012

This Meme Goes to Eleven

My friend Kevin, who writes over at Always Home and Uncool and DadCentric, recently tagged me in a meme. I could get all blase about it but I'm a complete geek for this stuff and since I consider myself kind of an outlier in the blogosphere, it's an honor being mentioned. Especially by someone I enjoy reading regularly. Considering I also happen to know this person in 3D sometimes and think he's a swell guy and I don't want him to be grumpy with me and set the dog to attack mode when I see him again, I absolutely have to participate.

So anyway, the idea is Kevin got asked 11 questions by another blogger and was tasked to answer said questions and divine 11 more for some writingish friends to play with.  The questions as follows are what keeps Kev up at night it would seem, and far be it from me to steal another moment of peaceful slumber from a dear friend. 

(I preemptively apologize for the spacing being all kinds of messed up on this post but if I spend one more minute trying to edit, I will drive myself officially insane. sorry)

1. Ginger or Mary Ann?

Way to go for the jugular, Kevin. Sure, for the guys this is a lighthearted "who's hotter?" question, right?  tee hee and stuff?  Yeah, well, over here it caused an identity crisis for like a week. Because for the women, this isn't a question of hotness it's "Which one are you?"

I'm a Mary Ann. I've always been a Mary Ann. I know this. But since high school I wanted to be a Ginger when I grew up. I had posters of Marilyn Monroe on the walls, I watched the movies. Studying. But I lack whatever stamina is required to maintain that façade for more than a few hours at a time.

So Mary Ann it shall always be. Minus the Coconut Creme Pie thing because I tried one once and it was, by all sensory perception, meringue-topped suntan lotion. horrifying.

2. What would you use to dilute water?
My first thought was Tequila. but that doesn't make any sense. who drinks tequila and water?  Then I thought Vodka, but I don't want to get anybody on that train. I've seen what Vodka Waters can do to people and I advise against it. No matter what your escape hatch of choice and low carb diet might otherwise suggest.

Soooo, I tried to cheat on this question with WikiAnswers. But this is all I got: 

And that answer is just stupid. You can tell because of the Santorum picture. So, after some careful consideration I got all smarty pants and scientific and realized: you have to use WATER to dilute water.  

You're probably high as a freakin' kite if you even attempt to dilute water, but whatever. Party on, Wayne.  Water is the correct answer. duh

3. What mnemonic would you use to help you remember how to spell “mnemonic”?


4. What is your theme song?

I actually have one of these.  Of course it has be the song I'm named after: Quicksilver Girl by the Steve Miller Band. I'd link it, but I think Mr. Miller's people have taken the online versions down. But you can probably find it on Spotify or something if you're a dedicated stalker. godspeed

Otherwise?  um... Hot Girls in Good Moods by Butch Walker? That one needs to blast during the it's-about-goddamn-time montage sequence in my biographical movie. 

5. Cake or pie, and what kind?

Banana Blueberry Cream Pie. Which might sound weird but if you haven't had it then you're missing out on a sweet explosive joy memory.

Here's the recipe. Make it. You won't regret it.

  • 8 oz. cream cheese, softened
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 2 pkg. Dream Whip, prepare as directed ( you HAVE TO use Dream Whip. it's just better)
  • 2 baked pie shells, cooled 
  • 4 bananas
  • 2 cups FRESH blueberries. Or the thawed frozen kind if you must. But I swear to god if you use canned blueberry pie filling you will completely fuck this up, so don't use that.

Mix cream cheese and sugar together. Fold Dream Whip into cream cheese mixture. Slice bananas and layer into bottom of crusts. Add Dream Whip and cream cheese on top of bananas. Layer blueberries on top of pies. Refrigerate overnight. Or as long as you can humanly resist.

6. What’s the worst movie you ever saw in its entirety?
Pay It Forward. Just the thought of that movie makes me sneer. Sure, it's a great concept. Preemptive goodness. Because Karma is important. But that movie...ugh. Not only did the casting suck out loud, but the way they ended it makes me feel violent. 

If I had the patience to watch Twilight all the way through I might say that, but I couldn't stop rolling my eyes and had to flip the channel before I triggered a seizure. 

7. What celebrity would you NOT mind your significant other having a one-nighter with?
The idea of even having a significant other is tripping me up here. I have to skip this one. sry.

8. Six of one or half a dozen of the other?

"Six of one..." I always just say that with a shrug and leave the half a dozen as implied. Less math.

9. What you gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?

Personally, I drive my junky trunk to the gym and do more Runner's Lunges and time on the elliptical than we need to detail here. It's almost Bikini Season and ain't nobody in Pleasant Valley gettin' jiggy wit dis single lady unless until I step up my game a smidge.

moving on.  

10. Vampires or zombies – which would you try to kill first?

When I mentioned this question to one of my friends, he said disappointedly, "You're going kill the zombies, aren't you."
To which I replied, "um...duh."

Because I hate zombies. I've mentioned this before. Zombies are my least favorite of the undead and they gross me out entirely. Also, they'd probably be the easier choice to kill since the only brains they have are stuck between their rotting teeth. Not that I shy away from a challenge but I think it's important to work smarter, not harder. 

Besides, vampires are way cooler. I'm okay with the whole ambiguous sexuality thing because unlike America's Favorite HBO Vampire Heroine, I'm not trying to date an immortal. Unless he was the Highlander, in which case, bring it.  Anyway, vampires have usually done pretty well for themselves after centuries of roaming the planet; they probably have a ton of cool stories, and they're Late-Night-Sitter-Uppers like me. So we could hang out and talk until all hours and they wouldn't mack my spot on the beach the next day. Conversely, zombies don't even talk, do they? They just moan in that repetitive guttural way and I can get plenty of that by asking a question of my 11 year old while he's on the Xbox.

But before I kill ALL the zombies, I'd use them to off the glittery vampires. Those abominations of literary genetics need done away with and quick.

11. Who are three people who’ve never been in my kitchen?

Well, ME for one. I have never been in Kevin's kitchen. I'm pretty sure that's 100% true and I consider it a grave injustice. *stomps foot in a huff* 
Besides that? um...Gwyneth Paltrow and Hitler? Only because they're clean eating vegetarian types and they'd probably know better.

Alright, so the rule are as follows: 

  • You must post the rules. 
  • Answer the questions the tagger set for you in the post 
  • Create 11 new questions to ask the people you've tagged. 
  • Tag 11 bloggers, however, you can break the rules and tag fewer people if you want. Make sure you hyperlink their names/blogs. 
  • Let them know you've tagged them! 

  1. Why was Tom Green ever famous?
  2. Have you ever ordered anything off of TV (infomercial or shopping channel), and what?
  3. On what reality show would you be a contestant/cast member?
  4. What's your superpower?
  5. Coke or Pepsi?
  6. Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give your teenage self?
  7. In one hour, you're going to be on national television. What are you going to wear?
  8. If you won the lottery what's the first thing you'd buy?
  9. What's your favorite cheese?
  10. What book do you think everyone should read?
  11. What question should I have asked? 
I'm working on this one.  gimme a minute. If I don't get to you quick enough and you feel inspired by the questions then by all freakin' means please do answer. Otherwise I'm going to need some time to sift through my writingish people list and see who might be up for it.

*waves bye* 
Thanks, Kevin!


TwoBusy said...

For the record, I've been in Kevin's kitchen... and it's spectacular.

Silver said...


Always Home and Uncool said...

Ah! So much to love about your answers, especially your mnemonic (which I just used - sha-BAM!) and attempts to dilute water.

The only reason I sit through Pay It Forward when it is on TV is because Helen Hunt never looked that good in a jean skirt ever before or again. I'm weak.