Saturday, July 26, 2008

I never heard that before

I had a conversation with a boy tonight that was so outlandish, to quote my father out-law "I ain't believin' it!"

There is a gentleman in Virginia Beach about to finish a book detailing Satanic activity in the world today. The book in question will describe specific Satanic acts as if satan is a person who walks among us. As if god and other fallen angels (Greek Gods for example) exist as physical beings. As if heaven is actually a place in the clouds. As if evolution is a false thing. As if all of the world's religions are creations supremely spun by marketing geniuses with evil agendas and other "everything you know is wrong" things as well.

What he described was the Ultimate Conspiracy Theory. In between stifling the laughter I actually agreed with maybe one or two things he said. But it was all so beyond twisted, I can't stop smiling, or laughing even. I sat there for almost two hours listening to this diatribe and even looking at pictures on his Blackberry of Hurley t-shirts with demonic messages no one would ever think to see…but he did.

And he swears the people who designed the shirts did so with a devilish plan in mind…nothing short of Revelations-style activity.

I asked him if he believed in reincarnation. Of course he does not.

I asked him what he thought of the yin yang thing. "It's a false construct designed to pacify the masses."

At that point I just shut up and let him keep talking. The laughter on my part was thinly disguised by the raised-eyebrows-wide-eyed-smile...meaning "oh my god, you just said that out loud," but he was so literally hell bent on his message that he physically could not stop talking. I don't think I've ever encountered a boy who talked that much.

Why did I spend this kind of time on that kind of lecture you might ask? It was fucking fascinating. And insanely hilarious. And he was all muscle-y and and kinda cute. I usually don't talk to those kinds of boys and now I really know why...because they are ridiculous.

Whew…the best of the night's adventures…

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