Wednesday, July 23, 2008

No agenda, just thinking out loud

To explain the Pod Person remark from my last entry to people other than Kenny: a Pod Person is someone who used to be completely normal and trustworthy, but who has (since you last saw or spoke with them) been snatched up by the "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" folks and now subscribes to another way more secret and evil agenda. A Pod Person will sacrifice and/or kill you to win their particularly opinionated argument. Much like the charming people who encourage you to join their cult or those crazy fuckers from "The Devil's Advocate" with their secretly twisted smiles.

It's a frightening thing to meet Pod People. For example, I think if I ever met someone from PETA, in order to be classically Southern-girl kinds of polite, it would take every ounce of my physical ability not to run screaming in terror in the opposite direction. Maybe when you meet a PETA person, defending yourself should become the priority and polite should just go out the window regardless. In terrifying imaginations, I sometimes expect that they would defy their own objectives and become cannibals out of pure spite.

Recognizing a Pod Person is not rocket science. When you speak freely in a Pod Person environment, you know immediately that you have crossed into enemy territory. They have a certain look, not unlike the Terminator, that they give you and you suddenly realize you are a target. After that, no matter how you try to conform to survive, your ultimate destruction is eminent. From personal experience I can tell you, in charitable terms, that this is a supremely uncomfortable feeling.

What's more uncomfortable is when you realize you have been trying to get people to subscribe to your own personal agenda, which may not have been the healthiest opportunity either. When you realize, "Hey, I've been all kinds of crazy out loud lately and recruiting people along the way…I don't know if I've been saying the right thing, but they bought into it anyway…maybe I should have used my powers for Good…damn."

I'm far too persuasive for my own good. Yet another reason why I should never be on a jury again and, morals be damned, maybe I should have become a lawyer instead.

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