Wednesday, December 3, 2008


This is a strange week for me. Yes, I am having a lot of those lately. See, last year my mother died tomorrow. The anniversary of her death is technically the 5th, but it will always be the Wednesday after Thanksgiving for me. And probably the 5th too.

I was going to end it there, but you know what? Life doesn't just stop like that.

This night last year I bought a Christmas Tree with my kids anyway (I didn't know it was going to be tomorrow). I did that again tonight. This night last year I went to her room in the ICU and heard the song "Heat Wave" by Martha and the Vandellas in my head while at her bedside. I didn't want to hear that. That was the song she always wanted to be played at her Wake. This doesn't mean anything to you, I'm just wandering. It does make me choose some of the songs on my playlist a "remember me like this" kind of way.

Gosh, I wish I could make things sound normal. Things were okay for almost a week just a minute ago. There is no such thing as normal.

All I can say is that you have to find something you honestly love in your life and go after that like it is your job. Friends, family, charity, hobbies, work...whatever you do to fuel your soul...that is the most important thing.

Love is the most important thing.

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