Mental Meandering

I am having another one of those nights when my brain won't turn off. Mental meandering follows.

It has been raining for DAYS. Not good, torrential thunderstorms either just this drizzle that keeps everything grey and soggy. People are excited that it's making the flowers grow, but I'm watching my yard turn more purple by the day with whatever blanket of weeds pops up each Spring. I personally like having a purple yard this time of year; I think it's a cheerful reminder that consistently warm weather is approaching...my neighbors are not as keen on it. Neighbors...not going to get into that now.

Now, I am listening to rain (which I really do like...in moderation), but I have been hearing other things on the roof that don't sound at all like rain. It sounds like squirrels recklessly attempting gutter repair. Is it even squirrel season anymore? I mean, it's Virginia so I guess it's always squirrel season here...but honestly, what kind of idiot squirrels are out romping in this weather at this time of night?! Then I start to think, "maybe it's a possum." *shudder* Getting up close and personal with a possum is not on my list of things to do tonight, or ever for that matter. Possums bother me...or is it possi? Anyway, I know I have a family of them living in the backyard and I have already come as close to one as I care to get. Creepy looking fuckers those are, and they don't seem scared of me in the least. That is a problem. I have visions of walking out on the deck with a flashlight to see just what the hell is going on over my head only to be greeted by a possum snout with two beady, reflective eyes glinting at me over the gutter. I would shriek and probably slip on the rain soaked wood trying to get back into the house and then be pounced upon by what I estimate is a solid 25 pounds of mischievous, nocturnal rodent. ...But it's probably just stupid squirrels.

I am writing in my bedroom. I always see people on TV or in movies with laptops in the bedroom. This is the first time I have brought mine into this space. I don't have one of those perfect bedrooms made for lounging with a laptop. It's not completely awful or anything, but I could really do better in this department. The walls are a great shade of yellow; I love this color although it probably isn't feng shui savvy. The problem is, the walls are only mostly painted...they've been this way for almost exactly 4 years. I kind of started backwards with that project. See, when I found the color, I was so excited to finally have something of MY choosing to go in MY bedroom that I never could have gotten away with when I was married; the day I brought the gallon home from the store I started rolling it on like a woman possessed. Apparently I have issues when it comes to decorating with paint. Anyway, I didn't cut in around the corners and trim the way I know you're supposed to first and I really should have bought two gallons instead of one because I only got three walls painted before I ran out. The only way I have allowed it to stay like this for so long is that I painted the three walls I can see when I'm in bed, so it's been kind of "good enough" and I'm only in here to sleep anyway...so who cares? By the time I finally get around to completing this room, I'll be redefining the space and will more than likely choose another color for the walls. Probably something more feng shui-ish...I think they recommend pink. Good grief though, I can't stand that over the top girly crap. For those of you who like that, have at it...more power to you. For me though, being surrounded by Precious Moments figurines and cutesy pictures of shoes would make me climb out of my skin.

It's going to be a while before I get back to this anyway, because I'm still in the middle of doing the kitchen. Need more primer and I have got to fix this awful gash in the wall where a cabinet used to be. I've even cheated a smidge and moved the refrigerator so that the gash is temporarily hidden, but if I don't get this repaired it will be my version of Poe's Telltale Heart and haunt me for absolutely ever. Dread isn't exactly the feeling you want when you walk into your kitchen. Besides, I'm pretty sure dread is a major feng shui no-no. You know, I really don't mind starting these projects. I don't even mind doing them. It's the finishing part I find challenging. Is it too late to give up procrastination for Lent?

Bring it easy, please

You want to know what I found out from my psychic reading? I found out I know a hell of a lot more than I give myself credit for. Not that she, the psychic, doesn't know her stuff too...I mean, this woman had insight into the people with whom I deal on a daily basis as if she were right there in it with me. I swear, even the people who are right there in it with me on a daily basis for real don't even have that kind of insight sometimes.

I'm going to be fine. Those around me are in for quite a whirlwind and apparently I am going to be something like the core of the Tornado or the Eye of The Storm soon enough. I don't know a whole lot about meteorology, but to be safe I'm going to stay low, brace myself and watch out for projectiles.

Brush it away

Sometimes I find myself thinking in "facebook" when I'm not on the computer. Ordinary moments throughout the day have me contemplating "what are you doing right now?" in the third person. Silver ...is wishing you would use your blinker, ...could do without hearing you say one more word about Alan Keyes weird, random things like that. I was in the grocery store behind a woman pushing her cart as if she were walking under water and thought, "This is the perfect moment for that 'I secretly want to punch slow-walking people in the back of the head' group. I should join that when I get home."

See, I don't have a tricked out phone linked to Facebook Mobile. If I ever got one I might cease to exist as a three dimensional entity and become trapped in a virtual universe like Tron. Thank goodness for my thrifty sensibilities. I got the ghetto phone on sale at Radio Shack for $9.99; sometimes my foresight is astoundingly keen.

In real life, I'm in the process of painting my kitchen. This happened after a weird emotional thud the other day. I was doing my best impression of those dismal "before" people in the Cymbalta commercials for most of the day; no matter what I did, I couldn't seem to stay completely vertical or out from under a blanket for any length of time. Some days just flat out suck for no apparent reason; you aren't supposed to be UP and ON all the damn time for cryin' out loud. Some days you just need to retreat for a while. After helping kids with homework I actually crawled back into bed in a fit of self-pity. Not long after that, my inner drill sergeant kicked in.

The question I asked of my self was, "What can you do about it right now?" I could have folded laundry, but I didn't want to. That wasn't anywhere near good enough for my inner drill sergeant; I had to do something. This unforgiving pep talk happened and suddenly I was out of bed turning on music, doing sit-ups, washing dishes and breaking out the primer. The kids were out to play for a while and thank god for leftovers, they had dinner when they got home but honestly I don't quite know how.

I painted for almost four straight hours and got all the trim primed that I could without moving furniture. When I accidentally hit that heavy-lifting stopping place it was 8:30 and time to put the boys to bed. However, if another adult had been around at any point during this episode they probably would have said, "Silver, I think you can stop now...that's enough. Silver...seriously, just put the paint brush down and back away."

Had that happened I would have probably had a freak-out moment similar to Richard Dreyfus in Close Encounters when he was sculpting that mountain out of everything. Or maybe more like Elizabeth Berkley in the very special Saved By the Bell caffeine pill episode. "Just one more section," I thought. "I'll stop after this next stretch of trim."

Once I finally set the brush down, the spell was broken. I put the kids to bed, poured myself a bottle of wine and let the day's troubles be sufficient for the day.

Today I went to Lowe's and picked up a gallon of High Gloss White to finalize the trim and swiped some swatches for the wall color. I'd been thinking of re-doing the yellow it was before, but during my drill sergeant pep talk I had a vision of a room I may or may not have seen in person during one of my visits to Charleston. It's a classic, Southern-looking color, both bold and cozy and it just might work for my purposes. Smoked Salmon.

This is going to take a while; I have drywall repair to learn along the way.