Monday, February 22, 2010


So, a couple of things are running through my head right now.  One of them: garden.  Really want to plant stuff this year.  Have no clue how to make that happen.  Lots of seed catalogs to look through.  I am officially overwhelmed.  Next thing coursing through my brain: I think my dead mother might be hanging out at my place for a while.  Yeah.  Y'know, not stuffed and mounted on the wall or anything...yuck.  I mean spiiiiiritually and all ghostly-like, which is better because there's no dusting involved (I don't dust near often enough). 

Jan Brady (my  middle sister) had a dream last week.  She saw our mother hanging out in my dining room.  They had a little chat and Mom said she was gonna be here for a few months.  So it must be true.  I mean, Jan Brady has been known to have some pretty prophetic dreams; I'm not going to get into all of them now, just trust me.  She does. 

We think Mom is here because of the X.  He's fine at the moment as far as I know.  I haven't seen him in the last few days, but no one has told me of any fevers or swelling or other gruesome symptoms.  It could be that she's here to oversee and mitigate what is likely to be a rocky near future.

We think Mom was in the dining room because that's where I just finally hung up all the old Gretchen Dow Simpson New Yorker covers she collected over the years. 

Also makes sense that she's here because it explains why I blew out four lightbulbs and three batteries in one week.  She is the one who cursed gifted us with the lightbulb blowing ability in the first place.  She shows up, weird things happen with sources of electricity.  Again, just trust me.  It's a thing.

It would also explain a morning the week before last.  I was in the kitchen making breakfast and out of nowhere Thing 1 is right behind me repeating something said on TV, "I come from death."  Startled the shit out of me.  I turned around ready with the, "DUDE!  Not cool!"  Thing 1 was not there.  Thing 1 was on the sofa in the living room.  What the...?!  I had to take a moment and leave the room for a minute.  Slowly.  No sudden movements.

This morning, frantically trying to get out of the house to work, I couldn't find my keys anywhere.  I left without locking the house.  I was riding in with my Dad so it isn't like keys were a real requirement anyway but when I realized I forgot my cigarettes I had to come back in to get them.  I hesitated before I walked in the front door though...because I suddenly felt like Mom was going to be standing on the other side of it.  I said, "Please, I can't see you now.  I'm in a hurry.  Just let me do this and I will talk with you later."  Opened the door.  No ghostly-like Mom.  Whew.  And there were my cigarettes, right on the counter where I'd left them.  Sitting next to keys. Of course I thanked her before I left.  Dead people can be very thoughtful sometimes.

I'm hoping she can also help me locate my Mp3 player while she's here.  I haven't been able to find that thing in forever.

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