Mostly Dead Moth

I am watching this mostly dead moth on the counter next to me. I swear I thought I killed this thing two hours ago.

That is so gross Silver! Why didn't you throw it away two hours ago?!

I got distracted. Sorry. And then I had to put the kids to bed. And I forgot about it. I just noticed it out of the corner of my eye. It is so not dead yet. It's actually pretty creepy. I really should throw it away, but part of me wants to see how long it will take to fully be dead.

Silver, you're sick. I can't read this anymore. First you don't like jam bands, then you slam bunco and lent? What the hell is your problem? You hate everything.

I do not hate jam bands, bunco or lent. I am indifferent toward them. That is the opposite of hate. I don't know why you're so offended...I mean, it's a moth for crying out loud. It's not like I'm watching a child choke to death or a dog that's just been hit by a car. It's a moth. Look near the pantry, there's like 2 or 3 more of them right there! One dying moth...no big deal.

All life is precious Silver! Even the life of a humble moth.

We're going to have to agree to disagree. I am a bug killer, mimosa hacker, had to carry our old Collie in the car and then into the vet's office to have it put down (big dog by the way, this was no wussy Cocker Spaniel)...my parents even asked if I would "take care of" our old cat and I would have done it but Mr. Kitty died of natural causes before I had to. Thankgod for that, I mean, I would have if I HAD to but...jesus, I don't want to kill a cat. I'm not THAT fucking crazy, that's like serial killer crazy...damn. Death sucks. Out loud. A whole, whole lot. But I also get that it is a necessary part of life.

This moth is not even dead YET. That is one tenacious moth. Oh wait...yeah, nope, he's still kicking. Okay, so anyway, the X is sick AGAIN today. Fever. Might have to go back to the hospital. Of course he doesn't want to go. If he hadn't gone in last week when he didn't want to go, he would have become septic and, like, instantly dead. Sepsis is pretty gnarly. But he went and got whatever it was mostly fixed. Got out and apparently thought, "Hey, I'm on antibiotics and several other medications as well. I'm fine. I may as well just keep on tripping up that same old hill." And so he did. And now he's got a fever. And no one in that house can fathom why. "Must be them antibiotics ain't strong enough. I'munna call that innards doc back and give him what for."

Silver, this is really inappropriate. You shouldn't be writing about this in your blog. Anyone can read this you know. It's not fair to him at all.

FAIR? Are you kidding me right now? Of course it isn't fair but it is one of the single most brilliant symphonies of stupid I have ever heard in my life and I just can't help it. Plus, nobody reads this.

Somebody is going to read this eventually. You put it out there on facebook. I just worry that you're going to regret coming off as so callous and mean during this time. All life is precious.

Yeah, I get that. I worry about that too sometimes. Whatever. My blog. My dear diary blather. Maybe someone will read this and be going through a similar thing and think, "Hey, maybe I'm not crazy to feel like this...or maybe I am, but I am not alone in my insanity." And that will be a comfort. Maybe. Or maybe people will think, "Wow. I never knew Silver was such a death obsessed lunatic. And she's mean. She was always so nice in school. Who put her in charge of the reunion party again?" It could go either way.

Holy crap. The moth is dead. I just blew on it to make sure. Totally, completely dead. Huh.

The moth is with his moth family in moth heaven. And Jesus.

Oh shut up.