Today Condensed

Today.  Today is the first full day of DST except for everyone else in the world and that one square state out West no one lives in.  Daylight Saving Time.  I heard you're not supposed to use the "s" on Saving from one of my facebook friends.  I get an unfortunate amount of news and information from facebook lately.  Anyway, consider yourself informed.  You'll look like an idiot if you use the "s."  The same way you look like an idiot when you say bru-sshh-etta instead of bru-sskk-etta in front of foodies.  I know that because I watched the Food Network once for five minutes.   Does anyone eat bruschetta anymore?  I personally love it but as a savvy food item bruschetta has probably gone the way of Honey Mustard (which I think is a vomitous flavor anyway, so I'm not sad about seeing Honey Mustard go.  However, I do like good bruschetta...).

Oh yeah, DST.  I love long Spring and Summer days but losing this hour fucking throws my shit off every goddamn year.  Woke up late for work today.  Didn't get to ride in with my Dad.  I was only 15 minutes late, but it turned into a mostly crucial miss because we could have spent the 10 minute drive talking about his rectum.  Dammit!  I miss everything fun!  I ended the morning rescheduling all patients for the rest of the afternoon and tomorrow afternoon because...well...because...he has a colonoscopy to take care of (how do you diplomatically say that without giving people a visual?)  "Dr. Nelson has been called out of the office unexpectedly.  May I reschedule your appointment for later in the week?  Thanks so much."  Eh?  That was all I could come up with.  98% success rate.

One chick though.  She had already called first thing today for an appointment this afternoon.  When I asked if she had been in as a patient before she said, "Oh.  You're new.  I'm not.  I'd like his first available appointment."  Wha?!  Really?!  I fucking hated her instantly.  Loved calling that reschedule.  And the bitch hung UP on me instead of rescheduling!  Not even kidding.  Soooooo....good fucking luck getting that blinding pain in your shoulder fixed, lady.  'Speh-shully if I'm answering the phone.  I regognize your "not new" name now.  P.S. Don't get smarmy with your doctor's receptionist.  Karma is a bitch.  And by karma, I mean me. 

Aside from feeling like someone has whacked my lower back with a bat (thanks Dirt Therapy for lighting the path toward 40) the day was, eh, not too bad.  I'm not going to worry too much about Dad, not until the test results are in anyway.  Despite my obsessing over X's medical condition I really don't fret over medical stuff.  I usually bounce through that pile of lemons squeezing out the juice for lemonade.  Dad's not going to die yet.  Psychic said so.  Psychic said Mama would live for fucking ever too, so I breezed through her lung cancer episode last summer similarly disconnected.  Psychic did say X was going to die sooner than later though.  Can't sweep that under the rug.  When we hear about gangrene and wheelchairs for him...shop for black.  She said so.  She's way more psychic than me.