Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Vampires and Other Everyday Stuff

There's a Novella I have been keeping up with lately online called Dark As It Gets.  I like it.  If you like mystery stories with supernatural themes, you might like it too.  Okay, I'm pimping my high school boyfriend's fiction here, so what.  We're friends now.  Whatever.  Plus he's, like, actually published and a vampire expert according to HBO.  I know this because I was completely waiting for the True Blood premiere so I watched the all-about-vampires, pre-game show before the series very first started.  I may or may not have had my jaw surgically reattached after it hit the floor and cracked into a million pieces when my high school boyfriend popped up on the screen as a vampire expert, repeatedly. 

Don't get all judgey with me about vampire shit.  Dracula, Buffy, other things I can't recall at the moment....some vampire stuff is cool in a gory, psycho-manipulative, campy, fun way.  In my meager defense, I never read a single Twilight book and when I made myself watch the movie a few weeks ago on TV I thought it was supremely dumb.  Twink(ly) vampires.  Gimme a break.  Oh, but Dark As It Gets isn't a vampire novella...I don't think.  It's not done yet.  May be were-somethings.  Not sure.  There's mystery and supernaturally stuff though...y'know, if you like that.  Which, like I said, I do.  Anyway, moving on...

Audrey and I went out to dinner tonight!  Yay!  And she only spilled a little of my lemontini.  Martini glasses are crazy treacherous when a table gets accidentally kicked.  For the amount of drunk you can get off martinis I officially submit a request for a more forgiving shape of glass.  Not that she was drunk...we hadn't even had a sip yet.  Anyway, we had a good night.  Lots of laughing and armchair psychoanalysis.  Love that girl.

What else?  Dad's colonoscopy today, fairly uneventful thankgod but seriously the less I think about what happens in my father's colon the happier I will be.  Please.  Love you Dad but jeezy creezy don't ever say "enema" to me again.  Glad you were sedated.

X update.  He's got the other half of his face temporarily fixed so no more Two Face action in the mouth area.  Next appointment on Thursday to get permanent crowns put in.  Which means he won't be leaving for Carolina tomorrow like they said yesterday.  Which means they can watch the Things for my reunion meeting this week.  Sweet.  And he went to a General Practitioner here in town today to "establish a relationship."  I find this activity to be unusually pro-active and therefore troublesome.  They don't do anything pro-active.  They are historically re-active.  There is something they're not telling me. 

Mama has been all over me about the garage remodel the past few days.  Have I mentioned this yet?  They decided they wanted to convert my two-car garage into a rec room/bedroom for the boys.  Now that the weather is warming up, this could happen at any moment.  Mama was over here Sunday afternoon visionizing plans for the space.  I swear to Santa she even suggested replacing the siding on the whole house in the process.  Huh?!  I said, "That is such a huge expense!  We're just remodeling the garage, not trying to redo the whole house!  Let's just keep it simple.  Maybe we could add a half bath or something instead."  (or maybe I could finally get a living room floor that isn't painted concrete...?)  Reverse psychology, people, I'm working on it.  They are grrrrEAT with guilt gifts.  Something has GOT to be up.

Oh, and Thing 1 had the meeting with the Asst. Principal finally.  "Mom, have you met her?!  She talks all soft and smiles too much.  She scares me."  I laughed out loud and told him he was right.  The verdict: one day school bus suspension.  [yawn]

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