Ya Voy. Manana.

I, um, didn't paint anything today.  I was gonna.  I draped my bedroom in dropcloths and plastic sheeting like some Dexter kill room but I didn't paint.  The day got in the way.  Now I have to take the stupid plastic tarp off my bed to go to sleep.

Tomorrow I am off though.  And Friday because it's Good Friday and my Dad apparently takes that day off every year which I had forgotten.  So, I get to paint for the next couple days.  yay.  I don't know why I am so freaked out at the prospect of painting a ceiling.  I got the turny-color paint!  No sweat.  eh?  We'll see.

X update: I am wondering if X has a girlfriend.  That would explain this nagging feeling that the outlaws are hiding something lately.  I used to think it would be GREAT if he got a girlfriend because then he could stop giving a fuck about whateverthehell I might do in my personal life.  Now?  Now I think that is a dumb idea.  Why would he date someone NOW?  oh...yeah...denial.  nevermind.  But, really...who in the world would date HIM?  He is so clearly tragic, so vividly unhealthy, so on the verge of no-longer-with-us?!  And then I remember the cocktail waitress type he goes for.  I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met him...(if strains of an 80s pop classic didn't just drift through your head you  should probably run along now to TMZ and see if any of the Jonas brothers have hooked up with Ricky Martin yet).   In my defense I was a little different than his stereotypical cocktail waitresses in that I don't give a shit about designer purses and don't consider cocaine a food group.

Anyway, I know the type of girl he spends money on and tries to have sex with dates.  Dumbass cocktail waitresses who think a five day binge in AC with a dying alcoholic is like, oh em gee!  Only the most fun, exciting, romantic road trip EVER!  Imagine the movie Leaving Las Vegas with Chris Farley and Tila Tequila.  So, I think he has a girlfriend (or is trying for one).  That would explain the extended AC trip and the extra time-spending with the Things and all the recent guilt gifts.  He's trying to impress somebody and it sure as hell isn't me.

What?  You think I'm being too skeptical?  Oh sure, I could be way off base with the girlfriend thing.  He could have gone to Atlantic City a week after he found out he was being referred for a Liver Transplant to go make peace with his former, reckless self.  He has come back a changed man.  Devoted to his children.  Making responsible choices that don't involve Jagermeister or gambling during every rare, conscious moment.  He has turned a corner here and I am just too embittered to accept that he's making real changes in his life.  Such a cynic I have become.  So sad.  Pray for me.

hahahahahaha...wait...I can't breathe...oh, the laughing.  I'm telling you...there is probably some chick out there who read the Anna Nicole Guide to Gold Digging and figured she really lucked out with a dude who's younger than Yoda.   The outlaws would hide the girlfriend thing from me bigtime because HE gets so jealous of who I might see still.  Because of that they would assume dating is a thing that would make me equally jealous and get all sneaky-like.  Amateurs.  All of them. 

Go for it, Tila.  I dare you.