Saturday, May 29, 2010

Life Lessons from a MYLF. (wait, what?)

I'm not ready to be a MYLF.  I mean, I get called that often enough and I think that was my nickname during the glorious days of in the Cult of Sales (Anonymous will have to confirm this).  But I always thought people were being sarcastic and kidding.

And then yesterday I got googly-eyed, jaw-dropping stares from some neighbor boys walking home from middle school.  Probably had something to do with the dress I was wearing though.  It was dicey in the "age appropriate" realm when I bought it 6 years ago, I just didn't feel like hassling with two pieces of clothes.  Whatever.  It was flattering and all, but jesus...the elbowing and ...seriously!  Stop fucking staring!

Luckily the Things and their friends haven't reached the chemical assault of puberty yet so this hasn't come up as an immediate issue.  But since our house is ground zero for kid activity these days?  I'm going to have to be prepared for this situation in a couple years.  I'm going to have to use it as a teaching moment.  We have a lot of those.

For example: Group of tween girls walking down the street one afternoon.  Gaggle of 9-11 year old boys in my driveway.  Boys start hooting and calling out, "Hey!  You're hot!  Can I get your number?!"  I roll my eyes in the garage looking for stuff.  The girls just giggled and kept walking.  Then the boys started shouting mean things at them.  Yeah, notsomuch kiddos...

Me:  HEY! (attention getter) 
Them: [scared looks]
Me:  [soft Mind-Tricky tone] Hey guys?  Can you come'ere for a sec?
Them:  [shuffle over terrified]
Me: I know it seems like those girls are way older than you.  But in a few years you'll be freshmen in high school and they'll be juniors and seniors, right?
Them:  [confused nodding in agreement]
Me:  Okay, so listen.  If you want any kind of a shot with them, like asking them for dates or dances or stuff?  That's not the way to do it.  Yelling mean things now will get you nowhere later.  They'll remember you as the bratty kids who called them names and you won't even get the time of day.  Does that make sense?
Them: [more confused nodding, muttering]  Yeah.  Wow.  I never thought of it like that.  Thanks.

The More You Know...and all that. 

So I don't actually know what I'll say when the hormones really start to rampage.  But rest assured Parents of Daughters I'm training them as best I can along the way.  Maybe I'll print them out What is a Man by Tom Chiarella that I love so much and we'll have discussion time the next day.  That might work.  Shaping young minds and stuff.

Speaking of, Thing1 asked me possibly my favorite question in parenting history yesterday morning getting ready for school.  He asked, "Mom, is there a right and wrong answer to an opinion question?"  I was in "where the hell is the lid to this snack container?!" mode and couldn't address this properly.   He brought it up again today.

Me: Well monkey, what if you really liked strawberries but had a friend who thought they were gross?
Thing 1: Yeah?
Me: Would he be wrong for thinking strawberries are gross?
Thing 1: [ponders]  I guess no.  Because in his mind he's right.
Me:  So, would that make you wrong for liking strawberries?
Thing 1: No.  We just think different.
Me:  Would he be a bad person for not agreeing with you?  Would you not be his friend anymore?
Thing 1: No.  He'd still be my friend.  We just like different things.  And he won't eat my strawberries.
Me:  Exactly.  Smart thinkin', good job.

*BEAM*  Holy cow I loved that conversation.  He can learn the finer points later.  Lord knows he's got a front row seat to the narrow-minded parade with the X and the Outlaws around.  But to consider that question at all and come to it with that kind of attitude.  I have definitely done something right.  *whew*

And I'll leave you all with this video, because today marks the one year anniversary of what I hope was only my first skydive jump and there will be many more to come.  It's probably just like every other skydive video you've seen if you have ever seen one. blog, my rules.  Deal with it.  The moment of standing in the door of that plane, seeing the world, and jumping into it?  One of the best Total World Domination memories in my repetoire.  Enjoy.


Mez said...


You got brass ones! SERIOUSLY! I would love to do it....but I'm too skeered!


Silver said...

Yep. I wanted to forever. The X actually bought the jump for me. I'm thinking he was hoping for a different outcome perhaps. ?

TJ said...

I was once one of those super duper, idiotic, hormone challenged boys. Nothing like a verbal bitch slap from Mom to set you straight about the female species. Fast forward to today. I am the proud father of a boy and girl. I know how to handle the boy. When he acts up, thrown him to my Mom, my sister, and my wife. Problem solved. The girl? I am scared shitless. I am so not prepared for that potential avenue in my life!! Great post there, MYLF.

Silver said...

TJ ~ As long as you convey to your daughter that being wise, kind and strong is more important than being "pretty", in the long run I think she'll be okay. Being those things will actually make her beautiful.

Good luck and thank you!