WTF Moment: Church Carnival

Every year, the church across the street from my neighborhood has a carnival the first weekend in June. The boys look forward to it all year long. It's a fun time, lots of hazardous rides, overpriced games and teenage garage band entertainment. And like I said, it's just across the street, so the beacon of a Ferris Wheel is impossible to avoid. We went tonight.

I learned this evening that if you show up to such a carnival in shorts and a fitted t-shirt (+ Miracle Bra) and stand idly by, eating a cherry sno-cone, watching your boys hop on the Flying Swing ride...you will also be invited on the Flying Swing ride. Who? Me? No tickets...oh, no problem? Umm...'kay?

But the ride operator will insist on fastening your lap belt for you. Tightly. Safety first! yeahright. It was a fun ride anyway.

And after the ride is over, the ride operator will be so concerned for your safety that he'll walk all the way around to the back of the swings to help you and you alone out of your lap belt. If he misses that opportunity by two seconds then he will very politely hold up the safety bar and grab the swing in front of you. Effectively caging you in and preventing your forward exit. However, if you're quick, a dodge backward toward the center of the ride and a catlike navigation of the other swings will provide a hasty retreat. And will prevent whatever the fuck that guy was thinking from happening next.

I think he's seen Joe Dirt too many times. Great movie...and fiction!  weirdo.