Friday, July 9, 2010

Being Social. Finally

So, okay...tonight I went out with my littlest sister Cindy Brady and her boyfriend, the pirate Blackbeard, to an art gallery thing and then to a fishing tournament party.  It.  Was.  Awesome!

Ah.  My people watching fix was fed.  My socializing fix was fixed.  My out in the worldness was achieved.  thankgodthankgodthankgod.  I can't even tell you how close I was to going completely out of my mind insane from not talking to people.  I even made a new friend. Gorgeous blonde recent divorcee who lives just down the road from me.  We exchanged numbers.  Single men, if you need a wing should totally call me. 

Single men who keep staring from across the room?  Cross the damn room, would you?  You're not wearing a ring so I can't tell if that crowd you're with involves a girlfriend situation for you because everybody keeps changing places but I am not.  repeat NOT.  trying to have that awkward moment for everyone else's edification thankyouverymuch.

That was the art show.  Great art, great food, the jazz was too loud but that was just weird acoustics.  Super duper people watching.  totally love.

Then the fishing tournament party.  Who has a terrible problem with authority figures but still managed to win the Simon Says contest?  Yep!  Totally me!  And I won two tickets to the Counting Crows concert, but it's August 7th and I'll be freaking the fuck out at Blogapalooza's Sparklecorn in New York when that's going on, so I gave the tickets to Cindy Brady and Blackbeard.

And I met a friend of Blackbeard's.  He was funny.  Flirty, quick witted, dark sense of humor, totally goofy funny.  He has a girlfriend though and he's too young for me anyway but that was a great way to spend some time this evening between kicking major ass at Simon Says and watching Cindy Brady fight to the death in a Fishing Chair Tug of War contest.  Man...she was inspiringly fantastic at that.  The whole party rallied for her.  She totally should have won.  Epic battle.  Great fight.  I am so proud of her.

Anyway, at one point I was talking to this friend of Blackbeard's and he said something about me being a cougar.  We had previously compared ages and joked about how young would be too young for me.  I believe my response at that time was something like, "For sport or for serious?" and then it turned to "To Catch a Predator" humor.  Like I said, flirty but a little dark.  So, at this next particular time he turned to his friend who was cute for sure but easily in his early 20s and said, "Zack here already told me he loves you."

Zack: I didn't say love, but I...y'know...
Me:  Yeah.  I get that a lot.  Not asked out on a lot of dates, but propositioned for sex all the time.
Blackbeard's friend:  I can see that.  There's something about you that's kind of...dirty.
Me:  Awesome.  Exactly what I was going for.

Now, mind you, I was wearing perhaps the most preptacular yet sexy outfit I could put together.  The infamous white Flamingo Pants and the white wrap shirt that gets a ton o' cleavage attention.  But here's the thing, yes I wear stuff like that to get noticed.  But to me...and maybe I'm doing this me preptacular and "seems kind of...dirty" should make for good, hey-I'd-like-to-get-to-know-you date material.  Not just strike up a conversation in the line at the grocery store, proposition sex and if she doesn't go for it then leave a trail of flame. 

To be fair, Blackbeard's friend is in a relationship and I'm not interested in being the other woman.  He's just somebody I can see being friends with and saying stupid inappropriate things around.  That's always fun.  And the other guy was just plain old way too young for what I'm looking for.  So it wasn't a crushing defeat to the ego or anything, it was just practice.  But really...there's got to be somebody in this ridiculously small town I live in who I haven't met yet who can appreciate a quick-witted, inappropriate-thing-saying, dark-humored, preptacular but seems kind of...dirty person like me.  Right?  Eventually?  Yes?  Anyone?

This was just my first taste of being social in too long of a time to truly gauge what's out there.  More practice.  Tomorrow.  A day out on the boat and another round of fishing tournament parties.  I'll get there.


Audrey said...

YES! Told you the pink flamingo pants worked. The white wrap shirt too? Awe inspiring. Totally shocked that you didn't blow all the electrical fuses in the joint. ;)

Silver said...

RIGHT?! I can't thank you enough for the clothes! Would have gone with the pink halter but nipple issues were too much of a wardrobe problem. subjective, I'm sure.

Audrey said...

They're only issues if you label them as such. Otherwise, they're hypnotic areola to be used in superhero fashion. Don't thank me. They're my payment for junior counseling. ;)

Silver said...

We could have so much more fun if you were single. We'd be scary as hell but laugh ourselves stupid in the process. Work on that, will you? :)