Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I Really Need to Get Out More

After the temperature cooled down to a breezy 86 degrees this evening I went for a walk.  Sports bra, Soffe shorts, ankle socks, sneakers, ponytail.  I was hoping to compose something blogtastically spectacular along the way.  Then I got WOO!-ed and wolf whistled at and I lost my train of thought.  Then I passed by the Megachurch.  Youth indoctrination night.  Leering from the parking lot.  Irony.  love.  And I don't want to write about Megachurch perverts either.  Not that they're perverts.  They're normal.  Just made to feel guilty for being as such.  whatever.  My Junior Counselor to the Free World skills do not include cult deprogramming.  sorry.

Then I rode my bike over to the gas station for cigarettes.  A place I go fairly regularly.  The same guy who is always there was there.  And he carded me.  Carded.  Me.  the fuck?  You still just have to be 18, right?  He didn't seem like he was kidding either.  I laughed.  But maybe he was just doing that to get my name and home address?  I mean...I'll be 38 next month, people.  Thanks for whatever the hell that was, I'm totally flattered and junk...but really? [checks deadbolt]

Then I went over to the fast food place because I was starving and I'd just walked 3 miles or something and I really felt like a cheeseburger that I didn't cook was in order.  The counter chick was restocking some juice boxes under the counter.  She looked up at me.  Raised her eyebrow.  Not pleased.  "Don't tell me.  Bottled water, right?"
"Uh, no," I smile-laughed back.  "Look at me.  I clearly need a cheeseburger."
"Oh, uh, alright.  heh.  I just...y'know...I didn't want to have to get up if you just wanted a water."

Which I just thought was funny. 

I'm sure plenty of people could go off on rants about how she works in customer service for a fast food place and just by the fact that I walked in there it doesn't matter if I want a bottled water or directions to the Ladies Room, she needs to put on her happy, smiling face and do my goddamn bidding!  But really, I thought it was great because she's probably seen so many overprivileged Stepford wives walk through that place with terrible, self-aggrandizing attitudes like that and she just had e-fucking-nough! and couldn't deal with one more inane request.  Like, "Look, lady.  This is Hardees.  You want a bottled water?  The fancy grocery store is right.  there.  Carry your skinny, white ass someplace else."

And that was about it for my real live, in person interaction today. 
Oh, also...Ben and Jerry's Karmel Sutra?  Have you had this?  holy fuck. 

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