Thursday, July 29, 2010

We Know How to Float

I will not take credit here for teaching my sister how to swim.  But I remember the day she learned to float.

I remember bracing her body in the ocean and feeling it not need the bracing anymore.  I remember the smile on her face.  I can only imagine what the smile on mine looked like.  I loved so much that moment.  I remember journaling about how happy it makes me to see the people I love succeed.

That was a long time ago.

And it is still true.

One of the things that makes me the happiest ever in the world is seeing the people I love follow their paths.  And be who they are.  And love the world so much out loud.  Being witness to those moments makes me ecstatic.  Gleeful.  Teary-eyed with happy.  ohmygodIlovethatlove

You don't even know how much I wish the happy for you.  And I do mean you.  Because I know you read (I decided to tell feedburner to fuck off a while ago and statcounter gives me much better information.  Thank you statcounter).  So, yes, YOU.  I want you to be you.  The truest part of yourself.  And be happy in the being.

Because I project a lot on the people I love and I want that for myself.

Today was a good day.  I had a reunion committee meeting tonight that went really, very, super lovely well and I laughed myself to tears a couple times and my reunion planning cadre are no longer minions to me, they are Cohorts.  And they are great.  I would walk through torrents for them.  In fact?  I did.  There was a tornado warning and everything.  Did that stop me?  You already know the answer.


I walked through that.  Barefoot.  In a Tornado Warning.  To get to the reunion meeting.  I had to go barefoot because the flip flops kept splashing water up my raincoat.  Opposite of the point.  instant ditch.  Anyway...because I love you.

I want you to have the best reunion ever.  I want ME to have the best reunion ever.  I want us to share that moment.  And if it takes walking through a goddamn tornado to do it I will do it.  Unscared and sending sarcastic text messages along the way.  For real.  Ankle-deep in whatthefuck needs to be done.  Because that's how I wade.

But this isn't just for my high school and junior high school and elementary school friends even.  This is for you.  All of you.  I love you and I want more than anything to see you happy.  Because that gives me hope. 

Because I need hope.  Because it gets really weird in my head sometimes and I feel lots of lonely and unsure and doubtiness and I just wish that there's something amazing to even that out.  And your smile makes it worth it. 

Your laughing and making me laugh back will make me walk through any tornado not only unafraid but also smiling.
And that is another part of what love is. 
I think.
Because we know how to float.

Today was a good day.


laurenne said...

Awwww. Lovely.

Dawn said...

What a beautiful post, Silver. Honestly, you made me smile - something I don't do nearly enough.

Denise said...

Love this one.