Friday, July 30, 2010

Brain Purge

Okay, so in assessing what colors I might like to re-cover a couple of chairs in the living room I realized I have absolutely no sense of style when it comes to interior design.  None.  This is ridiculous.  I like turquoise.  And seafoam green but the walls and floor are those colors and if I cover furniture in those colors it will disappear in the room.  If I cover it in that classic, beachy, shabby chic white...well, that's lovely, yes...but I should just skip that and shop around for a psychiatric facility instead.  White furniture.  good grief.  Anyway, I'll figure it out.  That was just something I noticed today.

You know what else I noticed today?  Event photographers are very expensive.  I wonder if people ever hire wedding writers.  I mean, I can get clickity with the button on the camera just a well as anyone else but to do it for real there's f-stops and saturation and all sorts of things I have no knowledge of so my temporary dream of becoming an event photographer and charging at least one THOUSAND dollars per event?  Shelved.  crap.  That would have been fun.

But I could write for people maybe and charge and arm and thirteen legs for it.  Because it's your Special Day!  And it only comes Once in a Lifetime! (Ha! can you believe people actually buy that still?  of course I'll never get married again because that would require actually meeting a single, datable man again in my lifetime which will clearly not happen if the last areyoukiddingme amount of time is any indication so maybe they're right...but still...really?)  Anyway...I'd write treasured bits of eloquence and have them calligraphied into a scrapbook or something in a frame made out of extra flammable material for the bonfire later but I wouldn't mention the bonfire part, that would be a surprise.  Maybe I could lace it with fireworks for an exciting bit of Oomph!  I would feel better about the higher pricing if I knew fireworks were hidden in there somewhere.

Okay, fine.  I'm not really going to do that.  And I'm sure your marriage is totally secure and I wasn't talking about you anyway so don't get all upset or anything.  You're wonderful.  Your spouse is made of magic.  Look!  A dove perched on a rainbow!  What?  Nevermind.

Anyway, I found a super awesome amazing wonderful fantastic photographer to shoot the reunion party in two and a half months and I should have approached her about this when it occurred to me a while ago but I felt weird about asking which is near about the stupidest thing ever and I'm glad I got over that because she said yes!  Yay! and WHEW!  Check photographer off the To Do List!  Ha!

Alright...anything else?  You ever need anybody to come by and fuck up a chicken dinner at your house?  I'm your girl. 

Also, if Crest Whitestrips is looking to sponsor anybody anytime teeth will be glowing in the dark this time next week.  Just sayin' me, shoot me an email...whatever.  I'm available.

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