Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Boil Then Simmer

On Thanksgiving Eve I am thankful for things I never saw coming. 

Granted, many of those things were horribly painful and I wished to the bottom of my feet at the times they were happening that either they never existed or I never did but after those rapids were run and calmer waters were reached, those unexpected things became part of me.

Y'know, that whole "doesn't kill you/makes you stronger" thing.  I'm thankful for being stronger, for running the rapids and for learning from them.  and I'm glad they're over.

That's bigger picture stuff that doesn't have anything concrete to do with what I'm thankful for right now but it kind of does but anyway, right now...

I just want to stomp around and shout and marvel sometimes about how it's so Weird and Cool and Awe Striking what you're drawn to!  and when!  and whom!  and whatever you think the why is for that at the time!  And then when you find out later there's a whole other level of why to the the what and the when and the whom?  *sparkly explosions!*

Moments like that make me redefine words.  Or fine tune their meanings.  Or obliterate things with a sledgehammer.

Moments like that make me look at every single theory about the creation of the universe as I understand it today from religion to science to dumb fucking luck and say, "You know what?  You're rightAll of you.  Do you get how that's the coolest thing EVER?!" 

Because I'm reading this book that one of my friends/readers/countrymen sent me yesterday.  It's On Writing by Stephen King.  and reading it is...I don't even...look, the only thing I can equate it to is that it feels like I'm in defrag mode all of a sudden.  And I'm more than a little tripped out about all the different things that had to happen for this to land in my inbox and make sense.  And I'm only on page 57 of 278.

I'm not sure if my head is being cracked wide open or sewn back together or if it's being both.  What if it's being rebroken and reassembled to fit a different way that's more flattering to my brain?  I could use a makeover.  It would be timely.  and also?  howcoolwoulditbeifyoucoulddothat?! 

y'know, figuratively because...kinda weird in a literal way.  I get that.

Anyway, didn't see this coming.  And I am not that easy to surprise anymore. 

Thank you.

And I'm definitely buying the printed version.