I'm not sure how many planets are in retrograde right now but I kind of wish they would snap out of it so I quit having THIS phone interaction:
Phone rings. Twice.
Me: Good morning, Dr. Nelson and Associates. This is Silver.
Them: Hello!
Me: Hey there!
Them: Does he have any appointments open? ("He" being my father. The only He in the office to which they could be referring)
Me: Have you seen him as a patient before?
Them: [laughter] Oh yes. I've seen him for years.
Me: [insincere yet convincing chuckle] What's your name?
Them: Steve.
Me: [less smiley voice but still polite] Uh huh. Steve? Do you have a last name?
Them: Smith.
Me: [the a HA, now we're getting somewhere voice] Okay Mr. Smith, when would you like to come in?
Them: Oh, I don't know, whenever.
Me: [helpfully perplexed] 10:30 Thursday? Does that work for you?
Them: Oh. No. You know what? I don't have my calendar in front of me. Can I call you back?
Me: [sigh. smiley voice.] Suuuuurrre. No problem. Just let us know! [Hang up the phone quietly. close eyes. deep breath. head twisty neck crack movement. another deep breath.]
Can we (meaning you) please tighten that conversation up by a million and start off with, "Good morning. This is Steve Smith. I was wondering if Dr. Nelson has anything open late this afternoon?"
THEN all I gotta say is "have you seen him as a patient before?" (if I don't recognize your name right away. sorry) and we're good to go.
That way? I don't feel compelled to take up smoking again and you get to check your blindspot tomorrow without searing pain. Everybody wins.
We're all cool with this, right? I could write it down for you if you need. I've got sticky notes by the truckload over here.
Also, I'm still not smoking. Nearing on three weeks.
I will say a couple of things about not smoking at this juncture. Quitting smoking during Halloween Candy Season? poor planning.
Upside to slight weight gain? Boobs!
Another upside? Smelling vaguely of Snickers No.5.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
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1 comment:
Snickers #5 is very popular around here right now too. Compelled to purchase due to impending arrival of extended family.
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