Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Quick Telephone Refresher

I'm not sure how many planets are in retrograde right now but I kind of wish they would snap out of it so I quit having THIS phone interaction:

Phone rings.  Twice.
Me: Good morning, Dr. Nelson and Associates.  This is Silver.
Them:  Hello!
Me: Hey there!
Them:  Does he have any appointments open? ("He" being my father.  The only He in the office to which they could be referring)
Me: Have you seen him as a patient before?
Them: [laughter] Oh yes.  I've seen him for years.
Me: [insincere yet convincing chuckle]  What's your name?
Them: Steve.
Me: [less smiley voice but still polite]  Uh huh.  Steve?  Do you have a last name?
Them: Smith. 
Me: [the a HA, now we're getting somewhere voice] Okay Mr. Smith, when would you like to come in?
Them: Oh, I don't know, whenever.
Me: [helpfully perplexed] 10:30 Thursday?  Does that work for you?
Them: Oh.  No.  You know what?  I don't have my calendar in front of me.  Can I call you back?
Me: [sigh.  smiley voice.]  Suuuuurrre.  No problem.  Just let us know!  [Hang up the phone quietly.  close eyes.  deep breath.  head twisty neck crack movement.  another deep breath.]

Can we (meaning you) please tighten that conversation up by a million and start off with, "Good morning.  This is Steve Smith.  I was wondering if Dr. Nelson has anything open late this afternoon?" 

THEN all I gotta say is "have you seen him as a patient before?" (if I don't recognize your name right away.  sorry) and we're good to go. 

That way?  I don't feel compelled to take up smoking again and you get to check your blindspot tomorrow without searing pain.  Everybody wins.

We're all cool with this, right?  I could write it down for you if you need.  I've got sticky notes by the truckload over here.

Also, I'm still not smoking.  Nearing on three weeks. 

I will say a couple of things about not smoking at this juncture.  Quitting smoking during Halloween Candy Season?  poor planning.

Upside to slight weight gain?  Boobs! 
Another upside?  Smelling vaguely of Snickers No.5.

1 comment:

emma said...

Snickers #5 is very popular around here right now too. Compelled to purchase due to impending arrival of extended family.