Monday, August 15, 2011

Harriet Nelson, I Am Not

The hardest part about being a parent is having kids.

My mother and I had an outstanding relationship; she was always honest with me about what a hard job it is to raise children.  And everything else too, which I admire and greatly appreciate.  In hindsight.  Because hearing that she wanted to throw me out the window sometimes... literally?  Stung when I was younger.

Now?  I get it.

I think if I'd grown up believing life was like TV then this whole Mom deal would be 87% torture and I'd be fighting for first in line at the pharmacy counter.  For all of us.  But knowing it's a hard row to hoe yet a high yield crop if you tend it right makes things bearable.

My kids are driving me somewhat batshit is what I'm saying.  And I love them a million, but I will be so supremely happy once we get back into the regular school year routine.

I haven't been to the gym since June.  I've spent fitful nights at their beck and call since Sudden Surprise Brushes with Death arrived at the door last month.  I feel like I've been hearing, "Mom....hey...Mom?" at seven minute intervals for weeks now... and it's wearing my ass slam out.  Thank god for DVR.  And it's a damn good thing for them they're cute and funny.  If we hadn't had peals of laughter peppered throughout this summer then I would be seriously looking for a mobster boyfriend just for the payoff of Witness Protection down the road.

We are reinstituting bedtimes this week.  With computer/gaming/TV blackout times an hour before sleep.  "This is not a punishment."  I told them.  "This is so you don't keep having a yelling mom all the time.  Because I don't like freaking out all over the place anymore than you like seeing it.  Does that make sense?"  That they climbed on board with this plan, however begrudgingly, gives you a smidge of an idea of how fun things have gotten around here lately.

Also, the trajectory of a half full laundry basket makes an impressive statement.

With or without my best intentions, some socks may never be recovered.



dbs said...

My kids are driving me batshit crazy too. And they're teenagers so their looks of disdain are extra withering because they have perfected them over time.

Silver said...

Monster could market a Disdain flavored energy drink and make billions.