Saturday, October 1, 2011

To Don't

I keep writing out To Do lists like they have any impact on my daily activities.

It's monsoon season in Pleasant Valley and my gutters are filled to bursting with every godforsaken thing that could drop from a tree.  I've had "Gutters" on my To Do list for weeks.  Two days ago, they were number one.  They're only clinging to the house now out of spite.

Two days ago, I went browsing instead.  Not shopping mind you.  Browsing.  Totally separate and satisfying in a recon way.  I look around for things I might want to shop seriously for later and leave salesmen frustrated and clueless in the process.  They trail me around the store like I'm gonna secret a coffee table out in my bag and ask me 68 times if they can help me.  "No thanks, just lookin' around."  No, I don't want to be on your email list.  No, I don't want you to tell me about how great you think that bookcase is.  It's not great.  It belongs in Halloweentown.  I need to go now because you just harshed my groove with your ineffectual chatter.

"Gutters" is still on my list.

"Cut grass" was on my To Do list for 5 or 6 days and I didn't get around to that for so long because it's been monsoon season as I mentioned and almost every day there's this incessant, mood tamping rain.  But one day during an unexpectedly savory break in the weather and with mower blades set damn near as high as Craftsman would allow, grass got cut.

My productivity is spontaneous these days.  It's fueled by red-lining hormones more often than Time To Make The Donuts diligence.  I'm not saying I'm looking forward to menopause, but I certainly won't miss the volcanic fits of estrogen that compel me to tackle the most labor intensive things on my lists.

Like moving the old refrigerator out of the house.  All by myself.  I managed to overcome obstinate thresholds and take a door (or three) off its hinges.  "Fridge" had been on the list for months except *I wasn't   supposed to be the one who did it.  But the guy who was supposed to do it sorta frailed and I was having a moment of "it's either lift something impossibly heavy or end my 39 year streak of not killing people." And then I rearranged the kids' whole room that same afternoon.  A primal urgent force was holding the reins in my head and would not permit me to physically stop until I purged myself of all rageful-ish energy.

I put regular stuff on the lists too, like "Grocery" and "Shower" just for the satisfaction of crossing things off.  And medium stuff like "Gym" and "Car Inspection" but then something important like kickball comes along, which I don't even have to write down, and it obliterates any item on the list for the day.

But I really need that car inspection done.  Because it's 10 now and even though there were THIRTY DAYS of 9 for me to get this taken care of...  I'll do it after kickball today.  "Gutters" will just have to wait.







1 comment:

Denise said...

I, too, have to get the car inspection done. It's been a long time since 2 was on the calendar. Even longer since 09. Guess that's why I'll be back in VB for traffic court in November. Good news is, I'll be there for a kickball game.