Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Bouncing Around Topics

Sending big ups to Piled High Marketing for the sweet blog mention.  [blush]  Thank you John.  Your wry wit comes through in your writing, keep up the good work and I am proud of you for taking the leap to Ph.D.

What else?  Oh yeah, Thing 1 smacked a kid in the face for making fun of his haircut and has a date with the Asst. Principal tomorrow morning.  Easy now, it was a light smack.  And it was a smack for heaven's sake, not a right hook.  And the kid in question is kind of a jerk anyway. I am writing a note to the authorities in Thing 1's defense.  He does not have rage issues.  He has never flipped over the furniture.  If he smacked a kid, believe me, the kid earned it.  Hands down, I am on Thing 1's side over some snotty brat who got kicked out of an afterschool program for punching a whole other kid last month.   See?  You know he totally earned that smack.  Light smack.  Umm, my note to authorities will sound significantly more contrite than my account of this to you.

In other news, I am worried about Audrey.  We didn't have our kid-free night tonight because she had a doctor's appointment this afternoon about heart stuff.  She's been having chest pains and blooms on her cheeks, same symptoms as the month leading up to her heart attack in October.  This doctor better diagnose her properly.  If she ends up in the ICU again for a second heart attack in six months.....GAH!  I am going to kick her sociopathic fiancee out of the house using blunt force.  I'll enlist all her friends if I have to.  We'll rally like villagers with torches up a mountainside and run that fucker out of her life so he never causes another stress-induced episode (for her anyway) again.  Watch me.

Non sequitur X update.   I forgot all about that yesterday.  X is back home from AC.  Mysteriously.  He was supposed to come back Monday.  Drove back Tuesday instead.  Alone.  Alone is unwise because he should not be unchaperoned...ever, really...especially on a long-ish road trip.  Last I'd heard yesterday he was "taking a nap at a rest stop in Maryland" which is always never a good idea.  Mama wouldn't tell me who he'd been up there with or why he'd stayed so long. 

Sometimes I can't tell if Mama is just playing dumb (she has raised the Dumb Hick character to an artform) or if she really keeps her head in the sand because she doesn't want to know the gory details herself.  She has a history of doing both and a history of lying to me in general.  Despite my 13 years of knowing her, sometimes I still can't tell over the phone which angle she's playing (there's always an angle).  In person though, holy cats, her body language is hysterical.  Mama can't keep anything from me in person.  She once backed up a distance of 20 feet in 20 seconds when answering my question about how long X was going to be in rehab.  She told me he went.  He never really went.  She was hiding him in his bedroom instead.  She had me fooled on the phone but when she backed up like that I knew in a minute the whole story was fiction.  I'm not that sleuthy, she's just a really bad physical liar.  If I had the video, you'd totally see it on playback.

Anyway, that's me bouncing around topics for the day.  The weather is warm, the windows are open and I'm a little all over the place.


diane said...

Good luck with the assistant principal's visit. I have a 6 year old in 1st grade. Whenever my cell phone rings at lunch, I know it's the school principal. SIGH. He has not been in serious trouble - just stupid boy stuff. While I believe in discipline and am mortified when my son gets into trouble (I never visited the principal when I was in school), a part of me also thinks boys will be boys, and that I should have enrolled him in an all boys school instead of public school.

Silver said...

Oooh, an all boys school...hadn't thought of that. My thing is I cannot homeschool. I don't have the patience or the discipline for it. They'd know a hell of a lot about yardwork and event planning though...and armchair psychology naturally.

diane said...

Yeah, I don't get the homeschooling thing. Maybe because the only ones you hear about homeschooling believe the world is flat.

Silver said...

sweartogod, NBF1 has an in-law cousin that homeschools and they took a field trip to an anti-abortion rally, signs and all. I cannot find the link right now and it's killing me. There were photos! I expect they've taken another field trip to the "When man tamed dinosaurs" museum too.

So, yeah. No homeschooling.