Friday, March 19, 2010


Thank you, Today, for not being one of those laser beam security systems like yesterday.  Thank you, Today, for letting me walk through without searing flesh from unexpected angles each time I took a step.

Yesterday...grrrr.  Yesterday, you and I need to have a little chat.

First of all.  Thing 1 in the school clinic with a "headache" and a fake cough for 30 minutes?  Making the school nurse guilt me into bringing him home with a case of Spring Fever?  Yesterday, thanks for the pebble in the gears.  Or maybe it was serendipity.

I begrudgingly picked up Thing 1 from school and took him immediately to Dad's office for an adjustment.  Headache and cough can be cured in a flat second with the right kind of chiropractic and then I could take him back to school by lunch (no fever, no 24 hour rule there). 

At the office was where I learned Dad was cancelling the rest of his appointments for the week.  Starting NOW!  Because he felt like he was going to pass out.  Not told to me by Dad himself of course.  Whispered by the office mgr in seeeecret.  FUCK.  Yeah, he looked pale.  Yeah, he needed more rest.  I'm not going to balk at that.  Whatever.  No big deal.

Get home.  Fifteen MILLION phone calls between me and Jan Brady (middle sister).  She was going into orbit over this.  ER?  Doctor?  Blood Loss.  Possible Death.  Today.  Crying.  After the fifteen millionth call I just stood there in the kitchen and yelled, "FUCK!" out loud.  And then broke the fuck down in the general dining room area.  And Thing 1 was trying to nap on the sofa and was scared beyond scared.  "Is it Dad (his dad, X)?  What's wrong mom?  Mom?"  I couldn't speak.  And then I could but I couldn't say what I was really thinking.  What I was really thinking was, "You have got to be kidding me.  No WAY is X going to outlive my Dad.  No fucking WAY is that fair.  No way is this happening."

I couldn't figure out what to do with Thing 1.  Take him back to school?  Take him to Dad's?  Call in Mama for backup?  I called in Mama.  I went over to Dad's and helped Cindy Brady (youngest sister) clean the house while Jan Brady and her husband took him to the doctor for bloodwork.  Cindy Brady and I went back and forth trying to decide if Jan Brady was just a complete control freak or if this was a serious situation.

End up kinda both.  Dad needs iron and rest.  And an ulcer scope next week.  And that's it.  And that is fine, I mean, recoverable anyway.  It's not dead.  And it is recoverable.  And that is fine.

And then I get home for a regular afternoon with kids like nothing ever happened.  And I gotta get ready for my reunion meeting in two and a half hours.  haha!  great!  And then I get a message from a boy I was talking to fairly regularly in January who dropped me like a hot rock for no discernable reason when February hit.  I said, "wtf dude?  You dropped me like a hot rock"  He says something lame about a stalker ex girlfriend and thanks me "4" not being a stalker.  Me thinking: Uh, yeah, you're welcome?  I mean, I'm curious about what happened and it's not like we were serious or don't fucking know.  He was fun.  And cute.  And I could use some fun and cute...we'll see.

Anyway, trying to deal with kids and reunion meeting prep and emails and text messages and wondering how the bloodwork tests are going to come out and feeling pretty much like I got thrown in a dryer with a load full of bricks.

And suddenly it's time for reunion meeting!  That actually went really well.  I have zero complaints about that.  I'm not even going to spell out my goals here because apparently I won't follow through even if I do.  I just have to keep those to myself for a minute.  How 'bout I'll tell you when I've got them done?  Plan?  Good.

And X has his transplant consult in May.  And something about blood and protein in places where they should not be and a trip to the urologist in a couple weeks for that.  Generally liking his new GP for this referral. 

So, anyway, Yesterday...?  That was way beyond our normal roller coaster feeling.  That was like astronaut anti-gravity training. are fired.

Today I walked several miles and worked on garage and dirt.  Sunshine, heavy lifting and very quiet and welcome to me right now.  I liked Today much better.

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