Thursday, September 2, 2010

Making Molehills

I am an All or Nothing person.  I am terrible with moderation.  Don't know why.  Must've missed that day in school.  As such, things are often presented to me in an All or Nothing way.  Now, we are going through an ALL time. 

I cannot think about anything else than everything all at once.  Head goes from thing to thing in rapid succession just does. And I talk really fast about everything going on and you just stand there with this confused look on your face like, "uh...what?  If I were you then my head would have exploded by now.  I can't believe you're still standing."  And I write down Aspirin, Best Friends, Sisters, Minions, Really Nice Telephone Customer Service Representatives, Reality TV and even Children and Outlaws on my list of who to thank for my continued ability to function through it all.

Support comes in many forms if you look for it right. 

Anyone who has been reading for the past couple of days can see that there's stuff going on.  Some of it is what I have been procrastinating about for far too long and really, really need to get taken care of like immediately because holy crap it's ridiculous that I waited so long to deal with this are you kidding me already.  Other of it is stuff that's not exactly in my wheelhouse but I seem to be the lightning rod for anyway.  Other stuff is just kind of other everyday stuff but it's still way bigger than your usual "what's for dinner?" responsibility.  'sokay.  I can handle it.  I can.

And then...THEN...there's the outside chatter.  The shit that could distract you from the real issues at hand.  Somebody goes bananas on your facebook wall.  Somebody writes a really nice post about you that you were not expecting at all and made you stupidly grin your way through the grocery store after reading. (a link, if you like me then click it)  Somebody who already annoys the hell out of you anyway emails you eagerly seven times in one hour about something completely worthless.  Somebody important tells you that no matter what happens now, you did the right thing.  Your kid gets hit by a car. Your other kid grows up a little more in a good way.  And it's Hurricane Season.  Hi Earl, Fiona, Gaston...let's keep the noise down, 'kay? 

Verrry rollercoastery around here.

It is a test of character. 

This is a mile marker time in my life.  I believe in reincarnation and I think this whole situation is one of those lessons that if I don't learn now then I will be destined to repeat it in lives to come.  I feel like this is an opportunity to face a challenge, meet it well and move forward.  Or fuck up and pay for it big time later.  I'd rather not have to deal with this shit again, I'm facing it now.

So.  I'm doing the things I need to do.  Making the connections I need to make.  Heismanning the others without making enemies.  And after it's all done and over I can move on to the next thing with a sense of experience and accomplishment and deep breath determined look of confidence because not only did I make it over this mountain but I also turned it into a molehill.

This time next year it will all be different.

No comments: