Thursday, September 2, 2010

scrunchy face

Soooo, um, this week is being weird.  I feel the click of my tongue on my teeth when I talk.  The click in my voice.  You know that feeling when you hear yourself on tape or video or whatever and you think, "Huh.  That's what I sound like out loud?"  I hear that.  from the inside.  all the time now.

it's weird around here lately.

I am dealing with things in just about every major life area you could imagine all at the same time.

Dear Universe, I would love to tell you to shut the fuck up but I know I've brought this on myself mostly and since I have a slight amount of self awareness I am going to avoid that statement and not even knock on wood (even though I did for literal during a phone conversation today...dammit, and I knew better in so many ways than to do that) when I ask, "What's next?"

You don't ever ask that.

You are embarrassingly new if you do.

Don't. Ask.  "What's next?"

Forthelove

Because you'll find out.

And in addition to the everything you thought you could possibly handle in one week or even two days the universe will say, "Thanks for the reminder!  HEREYAGO!"  And your garage remodel project will suddenly start before Friday.  Like maybe tomorrow.

WHAT?!  THE?!  FUCK?!

You fuckers have been dicking me around since last November and now it's NOW that I find out at 6:30 pm in the absolute notevenkidding MIDDLE of one of the weirdest days/weeks/whatevers of everything.  NOW.  nowimmediatelynowrightnow?!  Holy motherfucking cow I love and hate you at the same time so much in this moment.

So.  In the middle of what I thought was my absolute limit of dealing with reality I get another thing thrown into the pile.

And you have no idea what I am talking about.  Because there are some things I keep from you, people.  I'm sorry.  I have to.  There are some things you are not needing to know in detail.  The overall though.  Trust me.  whopper.

But.  I can handle it.  steely reserve.  bright white smile still on the list of "Things on Earth You Can See From Space" I can deal.  I make no claims to being all powerful, all knowing or all anything else-ing.  I aim for this but I know my limits.  And the universe apparently does too.  I thought I hit capacity.  Today?  The universe proved otherwise.

Ask and you shall receive, right?

I just thought Time would work with me here and make it all not happen at once.

2 comments:

Always Home and Uncool said...

I hope next week you kick the universe's ass right back!

Silver said...

Thanks, man. This whack-a-mole game will end eventually and I WILL emerge triumphant. right now I just need more aspirin.