Saturday, October 9, 2010

Another Saturday Night

Saturday night.  Kids are gone.  Blockbuster is freaking CLOSED forever.  It's too late to call anybody to do anything.  wah.  but I don't want to write about that.  I don't want to write about the reunion either even though this time next week it will all be over.  And I only need about 50 more people to buy tickets to totally cover my proposed budget and not send me into a downward panicking spiral.  It'll all work out.  And next Sunday's post will be all about how wonderful the party was and I don't want to worry you all for what's really no good reason.  I'm considerate like that.  You're welcome.

So, what else?  I had someone sort of kind of almost ask me out in a very nonspecific mumbling way last night.  Which was cute in it's own way and the only reason I think he might have been serious was that he told me his email address multiple times like it was a Head On commercial.  But I'm not going to email him.  I gave him my number instead.  Because look, guys, here's the deal.  You want to ask me out?  Fine.  Man up.  Make an effort.  No texting.  No email.  No instant message.  And certainly don't ask me to contact you to set something up.  yeesh. 

I'm waiting for a phone call, well, not holdingmybreath waiting but you know what I mean.  I expect voice communication is what I'm saying.  And a real "pick you up at 8" date.  Are we clear?  No "let's meet at the restaurant."  No "Let's just hang out at your (my) place and have sex watch a movie."  A proper date.  With most of the clothing in tact at the end of the night.  Let's keep it PG-13 for a minute, 'kay?  We can get to the X rated stuff later.  sorry.  I'm turning over a new leaf. or something.  shut up.

Okay, now, if I were stupid enough to join an online personals site ever again in my life which thankfully I am NOT then I would be fine meeting someone out somewhere because I don't fucking know you yet and you have no business knowing where I live because I have enough stalkers already thankyou and no interest in acquiring new ones.

But since I'm not going to join another personals site as long as I draw breath and I have spent enough time in person with you that I am interested in spending more time in person with you in a one on one datelike setting, then I'm pretty sure it's okay if you swing by to pick me up for dinner.  or a movie.  or a comedy club.  or whatever people do on dates these days as long as it doesn't involve mini-golf and an ice cream stand because areyoukiddingme.  Anyway, I have no idea how this actually works anymore because I haven't been on a pickmeup date in almost two full calendar years.  I know.  I can't believe it either.  go ahead, exhale, it's okay. 

Oh and for those of you newly separated or divorced?  I am not a representative example of what the divorced population does.  I don't think.  I know plenty of people who got divorced after me who are now remarried or dating like it's their job or whatever.  I just have had some other stuff going on and a very low tolerance for bullshit.  Your situation could be totally different.  In fact, I hope it will be.  godspeed.

So anyway, this guy...the one who mumbled that he'd like to take me out to dinner...eh...I'm not holding my breath because I kind of stood there for a second after he said that doing the "you just said what?" blinking thing and I'm pretty sure I laughed out loud in his general direction but only because I used to have a wicked crush on him and everybody totally knew it and he kept giving me the Heisman because it would have been stupid complicated at the time and it was just the weirdest thing to see him acting sheepish after so long.  So even though I said, "Uh yeah...yes...I'd like that," I don't know if it was the most encouraging response overall.

But it could turn into an actual date.  maybe.  we'll see.  I'm not a counting my chickens before they hatch person.  I usually don't even acknowledge that I have eggs.  And I'm pretty sure my basket has a hole in it so I wouldn't put all of them in there at once because they just seem to fall right on out immediately anyway.  So I don't even know why I'm mentioning this.  It's just what I'm thinking about.

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