Thursday, October 14, 2010

It's Like This...

Life makes sense to me by way of analogy.  Now, I wasn't sure if it made sense via analogy, simile or metaphor so of course I had to Google and according to About.com (which usually annoys the hell out of me) I'm pretty sure analogy is the term I'm looking for.  Although I feel that as I writer I should have already known that but whatever.

Analogies shape my perspective.  Bad therapy days, when I used to be in therapy that is, made sense to me like cooking.  When you're making a complicated meal, the process can look like the kitchen exploded but the result is a lovely souffle.  I don't make souffles but they seem sufficiently impressive in my head.  think of something with lots of ingredients and steps that's very delicious when you're done.  Okay, so it made sense to me that if I felt like an unmitigated mess at times, it was all a part of the journey (gack) to being a not only functional but also very emotionally attractive human being.  And I could carry on knowing I was on the right path.

I do this when acting as Junior Counselor to the Free World also.  I don't have an advice arm of le blog as yet, but you guys don't know what you're missing.  Just ask my closest friends.  They're convinced I could stage a coup and overthrow Dr. Phil with minimal effort. 

For example: Your boyfriend is neglecting you.  You talk about this constantly with him.  He tells you you're being overly needy and irrational and makes you feel dumb for wanting more from the relationship but you still know that you're unsatisfied emotionally and what now?  Who's right?

Let's think of it like this.  Say you're thirsty.  You ask someone for a glass of water.  They hand you a dixie cup.  You down it and ask for more.  They refuse because what the hell?!  I just GAVE you water.  What do you MEAN you're still thirsty?!  No.  That's all you're getting and quit whining about it.  So, what are you going to do?  Stand there and die of dehydration or take control and refill your own cup of water?

It's like that.

Here's another one: Your relationship started out fine.  It was fine for a couple years. You were both happy.  Now, it's gone to hell.  You're both miserable with each other but where did it go wrong?  You've got so much time invested already, should you stick it out hoping for things to get better or back to the way they were?  Did you imagine the initial happiness?  Is it your fault?  What do you do?!

Okay, imagine for a minute you're in the shower.  It's a comfortable temperature.  Then for whatever reason the water is no longer comfortable.  Freezing cold, scalding hot...either way it's intolerable.  Do you linger in that shower for an extra 10 minutes because the water USED to be the right temperature and it might be your fault that the temperature changed even though you keep messing with the knobs and the water won't do right and you can't figure out how to fix it?  or do you hurry the fuck up and get out?

Feel me?

Now, I've mentioned before that despite some people's perception I am NOT encouraging everyone I know to break up or get divorced or anything.  These just happen to be two examples of shitty relationships that aren't/weren't working and needed permission to open the escape hatch.  I'm sure I could come up with other examples of gardening or something about how you need to nurture a relationship and watch it grow and bear fruit and shit.  I don't garden well, so this would be guessing mostly.  And I don't do romantic relationships at all really but those who can't do, teach and stuff, right?  heh.  Anyway...

I got a million of 'em on all kinds of topics.  And they're all tailor made for your situation/hobbies/etc.  And I don't require a team of writers either, Dr. Phil.  *cough* fraud *ahem*

So, what do you think?  Start an advice segment of le blog?  Write a book?  Pitch a show?  or a podcast or something (even though I don't know how those work)?  Or do I just retain my amateur status for 3D people and leave you all to your own devices?  I'm open for suggestions here.  Like a...something...waiting for a...something else that's relevant.

I may need more coffee.

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