Friday, October 15, 2010

It's Tuesday already?! wait...what?

Do you ever do that thing where you think it's Thursday all day but it's really Wednesday?  Or it's Saturday and you start your morning like it's Friday?  For whatever reason you just can't sync up with Time?  I think it's the wrong day a lot.

Yesterday, I knew it was Thursday, but it had a Friday feel.  Probably because Thursday was the end of my regular week because today is the kick off of the reunion festivities and time was rocketing through the hourglass in a way that reminded me of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz desperately panicking "It won't turn over!"

By the way, I will be just as happy to stop thinking about the reunion as you will be to stop reading because tossing and turning at 3 a.m. realizing that 10 mile per hour winds on an outside deck will totally fuck up my tealights and I should've gotten taller candle holders but IT'S TOO LATE NOW and then trying to talk myself off the ledge because they're just tealights for god sakes let it go is not the most effective way to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for all the bajillion things I need to do for the party and I haven't mastered the art of makeup application to conceal dark circles so I'm probably going to look like iced hell for the next 3 or 4 days. 

But that wasn't the point.  The point was getting out of sync with the Time/Space Continuum.  I'm a professional, so I make sure to research what I write about.  And by "research" of course I mean type shit into Google until I find something on the internet that serves my purposes.  So I totally scientifically googled "'not knowing what day it is' causes."  What I found was somewhat disturbing.

First of all, this phenomenon doesn't have an official name.  I don't like that.  I like when things have names, even if they're in some other language with four consonants in a row.  Named things make me feel a little more secure that I'm not the only one.  Despite not having a name, not knowing what day it is is a recognized thing.  In the Bible even.  m'kay...

It's supposed to be a sign of The Rapture.  As in, the second coming of Christ.  uh...shit.  Now, I'm not saying that's a bad thing.  I mean, it'll certainly unclutter my facebook news feed when the raptured Christians are whisked away to the kingdom of eternal salvation but I don't know, something about me being tuned in to to a huge religious event is bothersome.

Another cause?  Sleep deprivation.  Hmmm...possibly.  I get a solid 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night.  Sometimes more throughout the day if my intermittent narcoleptic napping episodes occur.  But I'm okay with that.  I don't feel sleep deprived.  I would hate to think that I have to become an Early To Bedder after all my years of Late Night Sitter Upper experience.  That's a reconditioning I don't know if I'm ready for.  I might could continue being fine with confusing days if that's the case.  I mean, how would I ever catch up with my DVR?

Antidepressants were another reason.  But I'm not on those so I that doesn't apply to me.  Just saying, "they" attribute the messed up day thing to that.  The more you know.

Alcohol intake.  More specifically "wet brain" syndrome or something.  Which, first of all: gross.  Secondly: I've seen alcoholic wet brain activity live and in person, it's called Encephalopathy by the way, and that's not what I'm dealing with here.  Denial, you say?  whatever.  There are too many other other symptoms I don't have of wet brain (seriously, stop saying that) to make it that. so there.

And lastly: insanity.  Like for real delirium, dementia, schizophrenia.  One of those or more or all of the above.  As much as I joke around about being a crazy person I really don't want to have brought that on myself and find out this Thinking It's the Wrong Day Sometimes is a symptom of a serious institutionalizing condition.  I'm not a fan of institutions.  I mean, yeah, I can handle 'em.  I know for a fact I could even make friends in jail...but good freakin' googly that's more of a survival mechanism than anything else and I'd really rather think today is next April than have to go through something like that again.

So, if you have any research that either names or explains the Thinking It's the Wrong Day Sometimes phenomenon and doesn't signify a catastrophic fantastical global event or make me half dead or officially off my rocker, I would appreciate it. thx.

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