Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Sitting This One Out

There's this bridge at the entrance to my X's parents' neighborhood that X and his friends used to jump off of when they were in high school.  and college.  and after college.  and maybe last Tuesday but I can't be certain of that. 

A million years ago when X and I started seeing each other we were hanging out with another couple for a night of karaoke and boating.  Pretty sure we were far from sober.  As evidenced by the fact that the end of the night found us all wearing only underwear.  Anyway, near the end of the night everyone just thought it would be a stellar idea to relive the glory days (of a couple weeks ago probably) and jump off the ol' bridge.  Because when you think it's a good idea to tool around in the boat barely dressed, jumping off a bridge seems like a fantastic way to spend your time.  It's tooootally safe.  totally.  and ehhhhverybody does it.

So they pulled the boat up to the place right under the bridge.  We all climbed up and took our spot on the ledge.  And they launched right off the bridge with barely a second thought.  I stood on the outside of the railing while they all called to me from the water below.  "Jump!  C'mon already!  Wooo!  You can DO IT!"  I really wanted to join them.  But after about 15 minutes of me debating the idea I chickened out and walked back to my future outlaws house waiting for X & Co. to bring the boat back around.  They were very disappointed in my scaredy catness.

But somehow, even through the haze of Miller Lite and Jagermeister (or bourbon, or kamikaze shooters or whatever the hell I was supplementing with to keep up with everyone), I knew that my inherent klutziness combined with 1 a.m. combined with a long drop into shallow water combined with the boat right there would be the end of me for good and all.

And now I can answer the cliched question, "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?"  with a resounding, "No.  I would not." and I have a story and witnesses to prove it.

Which brings me to this: I'm not doing the 30 Days of Truth writing prompt/meme thing. 

I know, I know.  Ehhhhhverybody's doing it.  What am I, chicken?  C'moooonnnnn!  It's tooootally cool.  And it is.  For you.  I've read some of them.  Not all of them because the blogosphere is a big place and I don't know everybody just yet.  And I am very impressed by the dedication to discovering your inner truths and stuff.  And it's all awesome and wonderful and yay. 

But I went to sleep last night trying to come up with something I HATED about myself (because that's the prompt for Day One) and I couldn't think of anything.  And I came to the conclusion this morning that didn't want to.  Because I've spent plenty of time hating myself and my life over the past few years and I just don't feel like dwelling on that for one more day right now.  sorry.

So I thought about turning the meme into one of those facebook note things where I just give one word answers but there's days where you're supposed to come up with letters and playlists and whatever.  And I can't fit that into one word.  And I don't want to be super flippant anyway because you guys are spending some serious time on this project and I don't you to think I'm mocking you for it.

So you guys go ahead and jump, or keep jumping if you've already started.  Consider me mesmerized by your adventure.  I'll be here at the dock waiting for you to pull the boat around and tell me all about what I missed.

1 comment:

Summer said...

You'll jump when you're ready or not. I'm the exact opposite. There was a time, I jumped with little or no thought beforehand (leaping before I looked). Now I the reasoning, consequences, and potential hazards stop me in my tracks. I think not jumping is a sign of maturity.