Sunday, February 19, 2012

Strange Name, No Filter

Most people aren't used to hearing Silver as someone's first name. After 39 years I'm quite used to the hamster-on-the-wheel looks I get during introductions. The stammering is always a fun moment too. 

[cocked head] "Sss...Silll..ver?  Is..." [scrunchy eyebrows] " that your...real?"

This was exactly the response I got from Thing 1's basketball coach today. Now, it's mid season, I've exchanged emails and conversation with this man for the last two months or so.  I mean, I filled out all the required forms and am on the email list as I mentioned, and the phone tree and everything listed as Silver.  Seemed clear enough to me, but for whatever reason he addressed me as "Thing 1's Mom" today at pre game practice. 

Then he gracefully admitted he didn't know my name. So I got the "real name" question. 

Me: "Yep. That's me."
Him: "How did...?  Where...?"

If you could've seen the question mark on that man's face, and if you've known me for more than 10 minutes, you would have an idea of how deeply I dug in to resist the urge to tell him him that I am not, nor have I ever been, a stripper. Biting back those words took a LOT is what I'm saying. But he's kind of a strict coach (but a super good one, and Thing 1 has really improved, and we're undefeated so I totally think he's a great guy) and his kids go to private school and even though it usually makes people laugh, I didn't think he'd find the stripper remark funny. so I didn't say that. 

Me: "It's from a Steve Miller Band song. Quicksilver Girl. I was born in San Francisco in 1972. *shrug* Standard Issue at the time."

Hamster at breakneck speed, he considered it. Then had a moment of camaraderie.

Him: "You know the band Steely Dan?"
Me: "Yeah."
Him: "I have a friend who likes that band so much, he changed his name to Steely."

Me: *BLINK* 

Me: "You know how Steely Dan got it's name, right?"
Him: "What? No. How?"
Me: "Steely Dan is the name of a vibrator."

Him: *BLINK*

Him: "I just always told him it was a good thing his favorite band wasn't Jethro Tull or we'd all be calling him Jethro."
Me: "Heh. Yeah. *smirk* You'd should tell him the Steely Dan thing."
Him: "Yeah. Heh. Okay. Well." 

And he headed off to pre game practice.

Okay, now, MY main concern was getting back home after the game and Googling just to make sure that was a true story and not some urban myth I'm perpetuating.  I was right. It's a true story. Except for Steely Dan was a metal dildo rather than a vibrator but...tomato/tomahto. Shocking point stands.

Audrey pointed out that my main concern should perhaps have been that I bit my tongue about the stripper comment, but not 5 minutes later I dropped dildo trivia?  Which I think was more classic rock trivia, but again, shocking point stands.

The real concern should probably be...will Thing 1 get chosen for this same undefeated basketball team next season or did I totally fuck it up for him by speaking with a faulty filter? I'm sure this isn't the last time I'll ask myself this type of question.

1 comment:

BugginWord said...

Everything about that conversation made me happy.