Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Missed Connections

I read craigslist missed connections like I actually leave the house and could be missed by someone who speaks text.  It's a bad way to look for someone. Backwards in fact.  But I refuse...RE-Fuh-USE (extra phonetics for emphatic purposes) to join an online dating site.  again.  because that option is just horrendous across the board in my historical experience.  It's not like I went on a bunch of dates and realized this, I just surfed around guys in my zipcode.  Reading those profiles pressed against knowing them personally?  heavy on the hell to the no eyeroll and best luck in your quest anyway.

I joined the gym.  I joined the PTA.  I joined kickball.  what the godblessamerica else am I supposed to do to meet people?  I don't think sitting on my sofa knotting a rug is the best option for social interaction probably.  Am I doing that anyway?  As a matter of fact, yes.  It's something to do while I savor my TV addiction. And I need a rug.  And who doesn't appreciate an industrious enthusiasm?  Shut up because I know it's probably lots of people.  whatever.


Sometimes I wonder if I should have stayed with old boyfriends.  They're the type that I'm looking for now.  The X was chosen against type on purpose because the others didn't work out so well (i.e. we broke up.  duh) but the X was such a departure...I just don't even know how I refracted reality to make that make sense sometimes.  The X is so not geeky.  He was a bouncer for god sakes.  I love geeky.  Bouncers?  eh?  not on my radar as a rule.  It was the humor that got me...well, that he got my humor.  most bouncers don't have that brain power.  Meatheads.  less than cerebral.

It's the intellectuals that I like.  The ones who lean toward dark humor. Probably never been in a fight.  Granted, it's a fiber optic line that delineates misunderstood geeky genius from twisted sociopath...I'd prefer someone with the ability to assimilate to pop culture and a healthy understanding that it's hilarious to watch.  I teeter along that line.  with plenty of smartass comments along the way.

I don't know what I want.  I know exactly what I want.  I don't know if what I want exists.  Or maybe it exists and I found it a couple times and missed it due to circumstance.  I think I'm going to die alone.

writing this out is one of the things that doesn't make me less crazy, it's just documenting my time.


Mrs. Kuhtz said...

They exist girl... you just described my Hubby to a T! {the geek, not the meathead} And we met completely off the wall by accident never again in a million years. So just keep getting out there (wherever "there" is) and one day you'll re-read this and realize it happened to you too! <3

Silver said...

Aww. So hope should not be entirely dead is what you're saying. I may have to write that down. :) Thanks!

Cheney said...

You sound like me, except instead of braiding a rug, I'm crocheting a blanket. Maybe we'll find him someday.