Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Missed Connections

I read craigslist missed connections like I actually leave the house and could be missed by someone who speaks text.  It's a bad way to look for someone. Backwards in fact.  But I refuse...RE-Fuh-USE (extra phonetics for emphatic purposes) to join an online dating site.  again.  because that option is just horrendous across the board in my historical experience.  It's not like I went on a bunch of dates and realized this, I just surfed around guys in my zipcode.  Reading those profiles pressed against knowing them personally?  heavy on the hell to the no eyeroll and best luck in your quest anyway.

I joined the gym.  I joined the PTA.  I joined kickball.  what the godblessamerica else am I supposed to do to meet people?  I don't think sitting on my sofa knotting a rug is the best option for social interaction probably.  Am I doing that anyway?  As a matter of fact, yes.  It's something to do while I savor my TV addiction. And I need a rug.  And who doesn't appreciate an industrious enthusiasm?  Shut up because I know it's probably lots of people.  whatever.

Anyway.

Sometimes I wonder if I should have stayed with old boyfriends.  They're the type that I'm looking for now.  The X was chosen against type on purpose because the others didn't work out so well (i.e. we broke up.  duh) but the X was such a departure...I just don't even know how I refracted reality to make that make sense sometimes.  The X is so not geeky.  He was a bouncer for god sakes.  I love geeky.  Bouncers?  eh?  not on my radar as a rule.  It was the humor that got me...well, that he got my humor.  most bouncers don't have that brain power.  Meatheads.  less than cerebral.

It's the intellectuals that I like.  The ones who lean toward dark humor. Probably never been in a fight.  Granted, it's a fiber optic line that delineates misunderstood geeky genius from twisted sociopath...I'd prefer someone with the ability to assimilate to pop culture and a healthy understanding that it's hilarious to watch.  I teeter along that line.  with plenty of smartass comments along the way.

I don't know what I want.  I know exactly what I want.  I don't know if what I want exists.  Or maybe it exists and I found it a couple times and missed it due to circumstance.  I think I'm going to die alone.

writing this out is one of the things that doesn't make me less crazy, it's just documenting my time.

3 comments:

Mrs. Kuhtz said...

They exist girl... you just described my Hubby to a T! {the geek, not the meathead} And we met completely off the wall by accident never again in a million years. So just keep getting out there (wherever "there" is) and one day you'll re-read this and realize it happened to you too! <3

Silver said...

Aww. So hope should not be entirely dead is what you're saying. I may have to write that down. :) Thanks!

Cheney said...

You sound like me, except instead of braiding a rug, I'm crocheting a blanket. Maybe we'll find him someday.