I read craigslist missed connections like I actually leave the house and could be missed by someone who speaks text. It's a bad way to look for someone. Backwards in fact. But I refuse...RE-Fuh-USE (extra phonetics for emphatic purposes) to join an online dating site. again. because that option is just horrendous across the board in my historical experience. It's not like I went on a bunch of dates and realized this, I just surfed around guys in my zipcode. Reading those profiles pressed against knowing them personally? heavy on the hell to the no eyeroll and best luck in your quest anyway.
I joined the gym. I joined the PTA. I joined kickball. what the godblessamerica else am I supposed to do to meet people? I don't think sitting on my sofa knotting a rug is the best option for social interaction probably. Am I doing that anyway? As a matter of fact, yes. It's something to do while I savor my TV addiction. And I need a rug. And who doesn't appreciate an industrious enthusiasm? Shut up because I know it's probably lots of people. whatever.
Anyway.
Sometimes I wonder if I should have stayed with old boyfriends. They're the type that I'm looking for now. The X was chosen against type on purpose because the others didn't work out so well (i.e. we broke up. duh) but the X was such a departure...I just don't even know how I refracted reality to make that make sense sometimes. The X is so not geeky. He was a bouncer for god sakes. I love geeky. Bouncers? eh? not on my radar as a rule. It was the humor that got me...well, that he got my humor. most bouncers don't have that brain power. Meatheads. less than cerebral.
It's the intellectuals that I like. The ones who lean toward dark humor. Probably never been in a fight. Granted, it's a fiber optic line that delineates misunderstood geeky genius from twisted sociopath...I'd prefer someone with the ability to assimilate to pop culture and a healthy understanding that it's hilarious to watch. I teeter along that line. with plenty of smartass comments along the way.
I don't know what I want. I know exactly what I want. I don't know if what I want exists. Or maybe it exists and I found it a couple times and missed it due to circumstance. I think I'm going to die alone.
writing this out is one of the things that doesn't make me less crazy, it's just documenting my time.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
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3 comments:
They exist girl... you just described my Hubby to a T! {the geek, not the meathead} And we met completely off the wall by accident never again in a million years. So just keep getting out there (wherever "there" is) and one day you'll re-read this and realize it happened to you too! <3
Aww. So hope should not be entirely dead is what you're saying. I may have to write that down. :) Thanks!
You sound like me, except instead of braiding a rug, I'm crocheting a blanket. Maybe we'll find him someday.
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